Ernie the Octopus
what you call a pain in the -ss ex.
these exes are the kind that have the nerve to dump you, and then talk about you behind your back as if you did anything wrong to them.
they like starting drama.
they like getting their new boyfriends/girlfriends in on making sure people think badly of you.
probably because their ego can’t take the fact that you didn’t kill yourself as a result of being dumped by them.
thus they feel the need to make others, as well as themselves, believe that you’re still torn up inside over your break up by vocalizing crazy and delusional ideas.
everyone has had and will have bad experiences with ernie the octopus at some point in their life, because they’re everywhere.
everywhere.
friend: “so i heard that ernie the octopus and his girlfriend were telling people in math cl-ss that when you p-ssed him by in the hallway he could see your eyes glistening with unshed tears over the pain of losing him and seeing him with someone else.”
you: “hahahahahahahaha what the h-ll?”
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