Fijian Lava Lamp
to perform a fijian lava lamp with your good lady, you will need:
a large carton of pineapple juice (with bits), a bottle of hot sauce, a bounty bar and a funnel. get her to hop on all fours and raise that -ss right up in the air. pop in the funnel and deliver a soothing pineapple enema. plug her with the bounty bar. now, sh-g her vigorously from behind and when approaching peak, whip out the bounty and squeeze in a generous serving of fiery hot chilli sauce. as her burn builds and you shoot your wad, lower your head over her bubbling pineappley ringer and prepare for a cataclysmic volcanic -ss eruption right in your boat race – a la, a fijian lava lamp.
nb. should you not wish to take the full eruption facially, when expunged into a large martina gl-ss, a fijian lava lamp makes a fabulous pre-dinner c-cktail.
luke: whoa brian! your eyes are red as f-ck this morning. did you not get much sleep last night?
brian: no mate, slept like a baby. it was that fijian lava lamp that i gave the missus last night. the pyroclastic flow got me right in the peepers.
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