flaming zeus
you have to grow your beard longer than merlin and gandalf’s combined, screw two brackets at the top of your stairs and place a trident within them. take your woman, start making love to her doggy style at the top of your stairs, just as you’re about to j-zz, grab the trident, set your beard on fire, whip your girl’s arms out from under and ride her down the stairs while shouting “by zeus’s beard”
i gave susan the flaming zeus last night and she loved it…i think
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