gluteun-free


(adj.) describes a self-imposed lifestyle or prescribed treatment where someone attempts to get through his entire day and night without giving or partaking of any -ss. usually fails miserably unless one is a hermit, since in populated areas there are so many round plump juicy posteriors around that are seemingly just begging to be pinched or humped.
store owner, to male customer in the toilet-tissue aisle: please don’t squeeze the charmin, sir.
recovering skirt-chaser: look, buster — cut the poor h-rny guy some slack, w-llya?! my doctor told me to go completely gluteun-free in an attempt to cure me of feeling up the ladies, and i’ve gone three days without any -ss, so i need to do something to semi-slake my consumptive cravings!

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