GPS

a ‘wonderful’ device, surp-ssing the directional capabilities of the comp-ss, finally enabling many women to drive freely. this device follows a series of similar advancements, such as power steering, power brakes, and the mini-van. this has begun to overthrow the logical reasoning that when a male and female are in the same vehicle, any male of driving age should be driving the vehicle unless intoxicated or otherwise unable to drive the vehicle.
husband: hey honey, why don’t you go downtown to that chinese place and pick us up something to eat.

wife: but i don’t know how to get there, we have been there at least 30 times, but i’m a women, so i just can’t remember.

husband: don’t worry, i got you this brand new gps, it talks to you and tells you how to get to places you should already know how to get to.

wife: now i can finally drive outside the neighborhood without getting lost! yay! 🙂
gold p-ssy syndrome. a condition that can develop in woman as a result of prolonged exposure to situations where the ratio of men to women is unusualy low, such as some schools, professions, or the military. common symptoms include unreasonable high standards in women as well as a corresponding drop in male standard levels.
that girl must have major gps. she just turned down five guys in the last half hour, and she’s a goblin!
global positioning system

complex network of satellites that transmit signals to ground receviers in cars, boats, airplanes (see also vor). the gps receiver uses the signals from the satellites (which are over 15,000 miles away!) and uses them to find your location, anywhere in the world, with incredable accuracy.
without gps, countless losers who can’t use a vor would be lost”
a deviced used by those who have no idea where they are, to -ssist them in going nowhere in particular, using the shortest possible route.
a gps knows where it is, by subracting where it used to be, from where it isn’t.
golden p-ssy syndrom — an affliction that strikes some women whereby the woman thinks that her s-xuality is worth more than it really is. common symptoms include trying to get a man to buy her a bunch of expensive sh-t or pay all her bills for the privledge of having s-x with her.
d-mn… did you see what she tried to get that dude to buy her… that’s an outrageous case of gps.
ginger p-n-s syndrome

when one has orange pubic hair, and a small freckled p-n-s that cannot be exposed to sunlight due to paleness
while in a public restroom, jeremiah happened to noticed something peculiar about jon. then he realized that jon has ginger p-n-s syndrome

jeremiah: “omg carl, did you see jonny’s gps!?”

carl: “yeah! he might want to get that checked out!”