Hangover Paint
hangover paint (noun) a bowel movement which happens after a night of extremely heavy drinking which may or may not have included a poor dinner choice.
the act of p-ssing the movement often feels much like a levee breaking and flooding a ukrainian town with toxic red sludge.
the viscosity of the movement varies depending on the drinking of the night before, but usually involves a hard “plug” of matter followed by a -n-l waterfall of muddy post-digested muddy chunks of frozen pizza, pizza bites, hot-pockets and other late night snacks.
this process happens explosively and instantaneously, causing caustic splattering of the toilet bowl and turning the water into a bubbling cauldron of acrid bodily waste. unless the room is properly ventilated with a ceiling shower vent, two windows, ceiling fan and a door open, the bathroom containing the bodily oil spill will be uninhabitable.
this type of bowel movement occurs frequently after a night of heavy drinking therefore commonly during a hangover.
the color of the deposit is consistent with that of mixing all the paints in home depot, thus the paint.
hangover paint cannot be washed off the bowl by repeated flushing and requires toilet cleaning or replacement.
you wouldn’t believe the hangover paint i just laid down in the bathroom, your going to have to hold your breath while you take that shower.
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