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herbal tea

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• Shake before the cake

  dumb guy at the bar he’s going to take it to far. gotta give him a shake before he eats the cake and makes the biggest mistake, of his life and takes a wife. he wants to get married, i’d rather be buried. that guy is so clueless he needs a shake before the cake.

• mud net

  the mud net is a slang word for underwear. the “mud net” is designed to catch any unwanted sudden bowel movements in public. jimmy told his co-worker “i thought i had to fart today at work, but it was the real deal, thank god i had my mud net on to catch my fudge.

• Dirty Swiping

  the act of swiping through potential tinder matches while you sit on the toilet. look at this match i got while i was dirty swiping this morning!

• Trust me, I'm an engineer

  when you build structurally questionable buildings and unreliable solutions to problems but you’re an engineer so everyone has no choice but to trust that your methods won’t f-ck up person 1: “are you sure it’s okay to balance a forklift on a forklift to reach that shelf?” person 2: “trust me, i’m an engineer!”

• lauryn henry

  lauryn henry is a slang word for “b-tch” it is very stinky between the pipes. nickname chronic lauryn henry please get over here. you stink today.

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