HoverPoof

often experienced in an office environment, this term refers to the strategic placement of flatulent gas into a padded cloth seat or cushion for enjoyment by another.

things to remember:
1. this will not work on leather seats, wooden benches, etc. you must have a cloth like seat with a foam-like core.
2. the longer you wait when that urge to dispense the payload arrives, the more sinister the odor. so “let is stu” and make the timing right.
3. couches and car seats make a great locations.
4. share your work with friends. they will thank you… in one form or another.
this is accomplished by the following:

1. sit in a cloth or fabric covered seat squarely, making sure your posterior is centered and you are not “hitting bottom” on the seat. this is where the “hover” comes in.
2. quietly and covertly, release the “payload” while pretending to do something else. if others are in the area, make idle conversation as a distraction.
3. once delivered, immediately and s l o w l y, stand up and move away from ground zero all the while continuing with idle conversation. this is done slowly so the expanding seat pulls just the right amount of air back into itself so as not to pre-maturely release any of the smell.
4. at this point it is vital you move away from the blast zone to avoid “friendly fire” and accusations from the victim or witness. for full effect, the “payload” has a life expectancy of about 5 minutes.

within 5 minutes, anyone sitting down in the targeted region will experience a rush of noxious air from between their legs as well as around their sides and back (this is the poof). if there are witness around, when the victim voices their displeasure of the smell (and they will), the witness will think “they” did it based on the old saying “he who smelt it, dealt it”.

hoverpoof is a success.