Indian Kool-Aid
a very common alcoholic drink on various indian reservations (more commonly referred to as ‘the rez’) in the west. usually consumed towards the end of the month when federal subsidy check has been spent on high quality liquor such as pbr, schlitz, burnett’s vodka, and various rums in plastic containers. indian kool-aid is simply made by mixing isopropyl rubbing alcohol and kool-aid powder. the sugar masks the terrible taste of the cheap as h-ll rubbing alcohol. it’s f-cking sad but f-cking true… before you hate too hard on these poor b-st-rds go to a rez in south dakota and see how much there is to do and how much hope there is to fill your day.
alcoholic native moseys over to his neighbor’s trailer in the middle of the sodak prairie. there are no jobs to be had and the only hope he can come by is provided solely from his alcohol-induced fantasies…
“hey wildhorse, you g-got anymore of that f-firewater?”
“naw eagle-eye it’s all gone. i musta spilt it all out on the bluff last night under the half moon. i’ll mix up some “indian kool-aid” tho and we’ll go shoot some prairie dogs, eh.”
eagle-eye ponders the wisdom of this momentarily. the month before he consumed two bottles of rubbing alcohol in a few hours and almost died from the respiratory depression caused by isopropyl alcohol’s strong effect on the central nervous system.
“that’ll work wildhorse. mix mine real strong, eh.”
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