Instagram


a mobile application that proves humanity is slowly falling apart. the new generation of humanity believes every meal, event, outfit, funny pic or stupid thing needs to be shown and displayed on the internet for all to see as if anyone gives a f-ck. modern day teenagers live most of their lives on instagram to constantly stay in touch and observe what other people are up to but really what they are doing is wasting their time on useless sh-t. instagram is bs and addicts need to be tamed by their parents who let them have this cr-p.
teenagers are addicted to instagram as if alcoholics are to beer.
every hipster’s favorite way to make it look like they take really cl-ssy pictures when really they are still using their phones. yeah, you might look really cute/old school/vintage/retro, but it’s still a cell phone picture.
photographer: hey man, look at this picture i took with my canon 5d mark ii camera and edited in photoshop!
hipster: no way man, look at this picture that i took on my phone with instagram! it’s even better!
photgrapher: -facepalm-
a popular photo-sharing app flawlessly tailored to the explicit purpose of taking over two decades of technological progress in the realm of mobile digital photography and rendering them utterly worthless via application of appalling “filters” designed to transform the original clarity of images recorded by advanced digital sensors into the mottled likeness of expired film from the 1950’s developed in coffee grounds.
“nice photo, josie, but you really need to clean that screen on your porch, i’ve never seen one that’s so dirty!”

“what do you mean? i was in the middle of the backyard! but if you like the photo, you should check out my other ones on instagram!”
the exact amount a wannabe hipster weighs.
person 1:that dude is such a hipster

person 2: he weighs an instagram
something that won’t fix your ugly face…
kid 1: hey, check it out! i just got instagram.
kid 2: well you still look ugly…
instagram: pretentious, overused app that purchasing may cause feelings of hipster-ism, false sense of being artistic when taking mobile photos. when used with your mobile device, add grain, “vintage” filters, and corny polaroid borders, with the utmost laziness.
hipster: check my instagram uploads to see multiple sh-tty pictures of my dog, and food with vintage filters. i consider myself to be a photographer and creative because i purchased an app that millions of other people use. learn to manipulate photos on photoshop, lighting and iso settings? puh-lease.

photographer: -dies-
social network where food and drinks meet each other, become friends and sometimes hook up.
-ice tea: hey, sweetie. i saw some of your pics on your human’s instagram and you sure look tasty.
-pizza slice: stop it! i’m blushing! here’s my number. call me!
an app that makes your photos look like sh-t while simultaneously making you happy about it.
i can’t believe facebook paid a billion dollars to buy instagram; a program that makes perfectly good photos look like sh-t.

“omg look at my mom’s cr-ppy old photos from the 70s… oh, but check out this instagram photo of me and katie at the bar last night.”

instagram makes photos more fartsy than artsy.

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