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Jasmine Doylexxx

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• The Brown Wedding

  a contest between newlyweds where they tie the second knot of the night. they both insert tampons into their -ss and then they tie them together, another type of matrimony. a game of tug of war is then played. it really is a game of skill and b-tt tightness, a dry b-tt hole is recommended, […]

• positive anal g-force

  the g-force rate in which your p–p launches from your -n-s at a positive rate leaving you in agonizing pain. jeff: hey chris! why are you walking funny man? chris: i ate bad mexican and i hit positive -n-l g-force and my legs are sore.

• Wet balaclava

  wet balaclava – noun – a colloquium to describe the type of beating you get when it’s raining and you’re up the shankill eoin made a mistake and took a walk up the shankill. he ended up in the hospital after a wet balaclava

• cricketers tan

  having a v neck and lower arm tan after standing in the field all day. but everywhere else is pale e.g your body and legs ( known to non cricketers as a t shirt tan ) “yours arms and neck are really tanned but the rest of you is pale, how’s that possible?” “that’s because […]

• shy, bi and ready to cry

  someone who is announcing that they are shy, bis-xual and needs lots of pity points tumblr special snowflake: i am shy, bi and ready to cry imaginary reader: please god no! and how brave of you to say that you’re bis-xual and being shy on top of that!

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