the jedi are a fict-tious order of warrior monks who play an important role in the ‘star wars’ movie series by george lucas. they were responsible for the maintenance of peace and order in the galactic republic, and were skilled in various mental disciplines from domination to psychokinesis. in addition to these powers, a jedi novice was expected to construct his or her own lightsaber in order to qualify as a fully-fledged jedi knight.
the jedi were most likely based on one of the real world’s eastern religious traditions. much of their symbolism has parallels in certain branches of buddhism.
trivia: contrary to popular mythology, there is no officially-recognised jedi religion. an internet prank at the time of the 2001 uk census informed citizens that if enough census forms were received giving ‘jedi’ as the religion, it would have to be recognised by the state. however, this was never the case, and the jedi ‘religion’ remains entirely fict-tious.
singular: a jedi, or a jedi knight.
plural: a group of jedi, or the jedi order as a whole.
a guy who lives in his parents’ bas-m-nt.
i’m the greatest jedi who ever lived! (repost)
a jedi is a warrior in the star wars saga. they are people with exceptional skill, they can sense things that are happening/will happen, can move thing with their minds and have the ability to sometimes use ‘mind tricks’ on people to trick them. they wield light sabers, which are very light and elegant to use, unlike blasters.
jedi are keepers of the peace, which means keeping the force in balance. before becoming a master jedi, they are trained as padawan learners, and then are taken as an apprentice by another jedi. they learn from a young age and have rules to abide by.
anakin skywalker: i’m a jedi!
watto: a jedi? wha do ya know!
the most persuasive people in the entire galaxy. even their lies are persuasive. they train at mcdonalds.
stormtrooper: let me see your identification.
obi-wan: (waves his hand) you don’t need to see his identification.
stormtrooper: we don’t need to see his identification.
guy: i’d like a big mac, please.
cashier(the jedi’s secret ident-ty):buy a drink and fries
guy: yeah. a drink & fries.
most jedis eventually becomes politicians, ceos, marketers, lawyers & pr consultants.
the jedi are fictional characters created by george lucas.
the jedi are gifted with an ability to manipulate objects and people around them by using the force: the force is a life energy. the young jedi usually no more than one year old are taken to the jedi temple to be trained in the arts of the force.
for the first several years of their lives the youglings are raised in a creche, later when around the age of thirteen years they are put through initiate triels this is to ditermine those who can be taught and those who can not.
when an initiate is chosen they will spend the next ten to twenty years traing under their jedi master with the new t-tle of padawan.
when the padawan is deemd worthy to face the knight triels they will do so and those who p-ss become jedi knights, after several years the shall be expected to take a padawan of their own they then become a master. if the jedi is worthy enough and has proven him/her self they may become council members this is a hard t-tel to earn and can take the better part of seventy years to earn it.
not all jedi become padawans some are trained instead to be healers (doctors) grow food for the poor or become bodygaurds.
the jedi code
there is no emotion; there is peace.
there is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
there is no p-ssion; there is serenity.
there is no death; there is the force.
a portly 30-something man who, after becoming unemployed, has decided to stay home and work odd part-time jobs from home. he rarely leaves the house, unless he is taken somewhere by his wife or new mommy. when accosted by friends concerning his demise, he doesn’t care, because it is insanely obvious that he is supremely aware of how his actions will ultimately affect him and those around him.
“tim needs to get off his -ss and find a job.”
“no, shut up, he’s a jedi.”
a jedi is the one who is on his path to understand the ways the force. it is a one that rejects his emotions and follows only his mind. jedis try to reach absolute balance with the world that surround them – they focus on understanding the ways of all things and use that knowledge to bring pease to those, who suffer. the jedis understand, that true happiness is only possible when one completely controls his emotions and is sure that what he does or does not is exacly what he want and is suppose to do. a jedi knows not hasitation or doubt, as his training gives him the skill to avoid mistakes in all forms of actions, be it combat, diplomacy, bartering, repairs or driving/piloting. but the truly important thing to remember abuot the jedi is that what they do is learn all about the world surrounding them. their power comes strictly from understanding, both the inanimate world and all the living creatures. they bieleive there is a way of all things to be, and their duty is to make all things go that way.
the jedis form an order of the jedi. young gifted children are taken into the temple, where their training in the ways of the froce begins. younglings are prepared to the role of padawans. a padawan is the student of the force -ssigned to a mature jedi knight, which from now on is the padawan’s master. the padawan follows his master everywhere, and helps him on his tasks. this builds a strong relationship beetween the master and the student. during the journeys with his master the padawan takes several ritual tests – the test of courage, proving the padawan can control his fear and act to the will of the force even under stressful conditions, another tast that proves he can beat any opponent in combat, and the mst difficult – the test of spirit, allowing the padawan to look into himself and confront the worst of his own fears. even after these test a padawan is not automatically promoted to a knight – the final decision is always in the hands of the jedi council. the master can report whether he liked or disliked the way his young apperentice p-ssed through the tests, but it is the council that decides. after the council promotes a padawan to a knight, the head of the council cuts the padawan’s hair (each padawan has a tail of hair behind his left ear). a jedi knight then takes direct orders from the counsil and is trusted to perform missions. a jedi knight is a true jedi. most jedis met in the galaxy are jedi knights.
the council may grant a jedi knight another rank – the rank of a jedi master. this is done in respect to whatever the jedi did in his career, or the promotion is simply proposed by the force itself (or so the coucil says). a jedi master automatically becomes the member of the jedi council and from this day on his decicions affect the whole order.
“no, republic credits won’t do! are you somekind of a jedi?”
1. n. people who drive totally electric cars; usually forward thinkers, hippies, etc. 2. n. trend followers, avant garde novelists etc. , often derisive. ……………………………………………………………………….. nice car. you batterykens are sure coming out of your closet-sized garages. you’re saying that because our garages are so small right?
a girl who is wild, crazy and undeniably beautiful. she’s a free spirit, who doesn’t believe in relationships but having a good time. she usually surrounds herself with numerous guy friends and only has one good girl friend. she’s a woman in public but a freak in private so be warned, you never know quite […]
- Chicken McStabbed
the feeling you get in your stomach after eating too many chicken mcnuggets i just ate 80 chicken nuggets, i feel like ive been chicken mcstabbed.
bossy, like a boss, the coolest person in the whole wide world. usually named bryan, bran or kelsey. often listens to deadmau5. d-mn son you h-lla bau5y! i know right?!?!
- The Leaning Tower of Pissa
whenever a man has to urinate while having an erected p-n-s (usually morning glory), he must perform the leaning tower of p-ssa in order to urinate into the toilet. george couldn’t take a leak while having a hard-on, so he decided to do the leaning tower of p-ssa.