michael bay

an untalented director.

except for the rock, michael bay has made nothing but cr-p. his directing style is poor, as he literally believes that an edit every second is the best way to make a film. i don’t think it’s possible to physically count the number of cuts and explosions in his films within one human lifetime. the guy can’t even make a decent movie with the insane budget he gets to work with. his movies, albiet entertaining on some level, are the equivalent to an empty -rg-sm – completely unsatisfying, equally frustrating and definitely not worth the effort.

the guy needs to either expand on his predictable, unvaried style of filmmaking (although, i can’t imagine him having the b-lls or the talent to do so) or just stop wasting good money and go away. without this -ss-load of money invested in his movies, bay can’t do sh!t. his inability to improvise, his lack of creativity, and his need for a big budget (because he’s too incompentant to come up with something impressive with less funding) makes him the most pointless and deficient person in this business.
michael bay’s films suck!
1. a person who is incapable of complex and/or abstract thought, and focuses on pure visual and tactile stimulation.
2. a movie director who, in order to appreciate his dumb shock and awe style, you must either be stupid enough to think on his level or smart enough not to care how intellectual a movie about robots and explosions is.
1. he never talks about anything other than s-x and explosions. that guy is such a michael bay!
2. my pre-schooler thinks on a higher level than michael bay.
the most famous case of the effects of adhd on human development and functionality. bay’s adhd affliction is often reflected in his films.
guy 1: dude this movie is twitchy and sporadic. it jumps from place to place and nothing is in frame for longer than five seconds.
guy 2: yeah, that’s michael bay for you. don’t blame him though, he’s got a problem.
except for the rock, michael bay has made nothing but cr-p. his directing style is poor, as he literally believes that an edit every second is the best way to make a film. i don’t think it’s possible to physically count the number of cuts and explosions in his films within one human lifetime. the guy can’t even make a decent movie with the insane budget he gets to work with. his movies, albiet entertaining on some level, are the equivalent to an empty -rg-sm – completely unsatisfying, equally frustrating and definitely not worth the effort.

1. a gigantic piece of excrement weighing in at over 200 million courics in accordance to his last movie’s highly inflated effects budget (1x katie couric is about 2.5 lbs of fecal matter)

2. a director who provides proof that there is no god

3. a talentless hack who completely misses the point

4. a director who lacks any substance what-so-ever

example quotes to help you see the light:
1) michael bay: an 18 wheeler spins out of control and its all like braaaaghhh and this huge tanker full of diamonds goes blaaaaaaaaarrghh!!

general: those aren’t ideas those are special effects…

michael bay: i don’t understand the difference…

general: i know you don’t

2) michael bay gets to keep making movies and cartman gets his own theme park; there is no g-d

3) i miss you more than michael bay missed the mark, when he made pearl harbor. i miss you more than that movie missed the point. and that’s an awful lot, girl.

4) that movie was so bad that it actually made me enjoy watching soul plane
a deviant s-x act in which you set off an m80 next to the woman’s head right before climax.
while she’s temporarily blinded and deafened, you finish in her -ss and steal 14 dollars from her purse.
i totally pulled a michael bay on that girl i met at the black eyed peas concert and she still called me the next day.
explosions.
how to best sum up michael bay? transformers, pearl harbor, armageddon.

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