Midwest American Slacking Toad

the midwest american slacking toad, also referred to by some cultures as “battletoad” and “b-toad” in others can usually be found in it’s natural habitat on “the couch”. as it sits there, the heart rate of the toad lowers, enabling it to sit there and watch television for up to twenty hours without any movement what-so-ever.

there are no known female specimens of the midwest american slacking toad which leads leading scientists to believe that the midwest american slacking toad is as-xual. odds of reproduction are slim to none. the species is inevitably doomed.

the diet of this particular slacking toad consists 90% of various potato chips and the other 10% is mainly hot pockets, insects and a few small birds. the beverage of choice is none other than dr. pepper and is usually consumed two liters at a time.

despite this fact, the midwest american slacking toad dips the cheapest smokeless tobacco and spits it into the for mentioned dr. pepper bottles creating potential threats for unsuspecting organisms.

the language of the midwest american slacking toad is known as none.

this toad is solitary. communication is virtually non-existent. social interaction is always awkward at best.

a study has recently been organized to research the slacking toad in more depth.

alternative names:

the b of t’s, toader, toadski, el toaderino, the toad of battle, combat frog, amphibious combatant, battle chode, toad-hair, b-teasly
what is that midwest american slacking toad doing on your couch?

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