monitor malaise
an imaginary condition invented by people who have no experience with using computers. computers scare them, so they pretend the monitor makes their eyes or brain hurt so they can run away. c.f. motion sickness. real people can sit in front of monitors for days at a time and feel no ill effects.
old lady: oo-er, this computer tv screen makes my eyes go a bit funny. i think i have that there monitor malaise.
normal person: shut up, you moronic old b-tch -shoots-
monitor malaise can take two forms.
1) falling into a stupor after staring at a particular doc-ment on your monitor for long periods. you know this has occurred when you realize you’re reading every sentence two or three times, or your face has become hot and red where you’ve been resting it on your hand, or you’ve drooled on yourself (and this last is not a normal occurrence for you).
2) a feeling of being overwhelmed or confined to your desk (see stir crazy). you’ve been staring at the same project on your monitor for so long that you’ll use any excuse to escape, even when you know that you should continue working.
1) the phone rang, snapping me out of my monitor malaise and nearly giving me a coronary.
2) even though my project was due in half an hour, i couldn’t concentrate; severe monitor malaise. walking vicki to her car was the perfect remedy (even though it took 2 hours).
when you get sick from looking at a computer monitor.
sh-t man, i gotta go to the other room, i am gettin mad monitor malaise from bein in here.
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