moses

a real cool guy. duped the egyptians into thinking he was royalty, then ran away after killing one of them. famous quote: “let my people go!” moses’ people were the enslaved israelites. together they crossed the red sea using the force, but the egyptians were dumb-sses and could neither use the force nor swim worth a d-mn. moses would be a saint if he had been in the new testament, but instead he’s jewish. not to be confused with moses malone, basketball star.
moses means ‘drawn from the reeds.’ it is debated whether or not moses malone was drawn from the reeds, too.
one of the hippest jews on the planet, like jesus and woody allen.
yo moses, howzit goin homeslice!
verb. the action in which a group of pedestrians, waiting at the crosswalk, is led by a single vigilante pedestrian across the intersection during a “do not cross” period.

a qualified moses must be transpired before the cross walk indicator turns green when the mosecian is at halfway point between the sidewalks, or middle of the intersection.
1.) that rebel just pulled a moses on us, and now we’re going to get run over.

2.) dude, i’m going to pull a moses and stop traffic.
a jewish man mentioned exclusively in exodus, deuteronomy, part of numbers and refered to in many other parts of the bible. as a boy, the egyptian pharoh ordered the death of all male babies. his parents helped him to escape, and he became a member of the pharoh’s family once found by the pharoh’s wife.

heard g-d’s voice and commands and, through his faith and g-d’s power, was able to meet the pharoh, attempt to persuade him to allow the jewish slaves to leave, but was forced to bring ten plauges upon the pharoh’s empire. the last one killed the pharoh’s eldest boy, and he ordered moses and all the jewish people to get out of his country. later, the pharoh regretted his decision, and chased after moses with the full egyptian army.

this is where moses becomes famous. at the border of the red sea, he and his people were cut off, blocked by the sea and the egyptians, who were fended off the day before by a tornado of fire. moses orders the sea to step aside, and, through the power of g-d, it does. all the jewish people cross the dry seabed, followed closely by the pharoh’s army. when the last jew is on the other side, the sea closes back up again, engulfing and violently drowning the pharoh’s army.

g-d had promised the jews a fertile land that was perfect for them. however, when they reached it, the scouts saw it and the people in it. they wildly exaggerated the size of these people, calling them giants, and, for their unfaithfulness, all twelve jewish tribes, including moses himself, were banished from the promised land for forty years. moses died shortly thereafter, and never saw the promised land in his life.
-the greatest, most intelligent move the devil has ever made is making us believe that he doesn’t exist…
a very attractive guy. usually really good in bed. he’s really funny and knows how to have a good time.
d-mn did you see moses?? he’s looking pretty d-mn good tonite
a prince of ancient egypt (c. -1500) who wound up on the wrong side of palace politics and joined up with a group of semites being driven from egypt by the return of pharaonic government.

“moses” means ‘son’ in egyptian, as in pharaoh thutmoses (“son of thoth”) and pharaoh ramoses (“son of ra”).
exodus 4:
21 and the lord said unto moses, when thou goest to return into egypt, see that thou do all those wonders before pharaoh, which i have put in thine hand: but i will harden his heart, that he shall not let the people go.
22 and thou shalt say unto pharaoh, thus saith the lord, israel is my son, even my firstborn:
23 and i say unto thee, let my son go, that he may serve me: and if thou refuse to let him go, behold, i will slay thy son, even thy firstborn.
24 and it came to p-ss by the way in the inn, that the lord met him, and sought to kill him.
25 then zipporah took a sharp stone, and cut off the foreskin of her son, and cast it at his feet, and said, surely a bl–dy husband art thou to me.
marijuana or under the influence of marijuana
d-mn, i’m bored! can you hook up some mose?

you got a pipe? let’s go mose!

d-mn, i been smoking all day! i’m mose right now!