Mr Crompton
1. (noun) an aging tracksuit wearing hermit infamous for trapping unwaring young people in a freezing stare and “treating” to horrible, boring tales of sodomy.
believed to be based on the main character from coolidge’s “the ancient mariner” he is infact based on the nightmares of young children.
copying the behaviour of humans he has observed crompton attempts to make places for people to live but he fails beacuse he is sh-t.
2. (verb) doing a headstand while having your prostrate glands manipulated with a large kipper.
3. -‘ed'(adjective) to roll around in sh-t for a year and pay £1000 for the privelage.
1.
sandra: “thanks to mr crompton i know how much blood should be in a healthy stool sample”
elaine: “thanks to mr crompton i know the stress tolerance of inferior wood against my back.”
sandra: “thats what i said”
2. a fat l-ss tried to give me a mr crompton last night, she tried to dominate me.
3. i got (mr) cromptoned now i chew the wrappers off iceland c-sseroles for food, but if i prop the wrappers against the wall they reduce the risk of cave ins.
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