Murphysboro
small boring town east of carbondale , illinois. more commonly called ‘murphy’. home of the murphy red devils. the town rivalry is against our college town neighbor, carbondale. most sports and the band are great. the varsity football team almost always loses. the mcdonalds in town has bad food but the one in jackson square is nice. not recommended to live in by anyone.
carbondale boy: man, i cant’ wait to roast murphysboro in the football game tonight!
carbondale girl: yeah, me too, we always toast ’em!
warning: currently haunted by the famed big muddy monster.
warning: also populated by dillusional crackheads under the imperssion that they have in fact seen the big muddy monster.
attention/atencion: most common killer among murphysboro teens is smoking weed and teenage pregnancy!!
1)small sh-t-hole in the middle of nowhere.
2)farm land all around, great for farming and burying dead bodies.
3)land mines all around from the terrorist attacks that happen very frequently.
4)only few arabs in population because most have already done their duty. r.i.p.
5)wanna be gangsters with toy guns.
6)lots of b-st-rds that need their b-lls cut off.
7)many girls wanting to cut male’s b-lls off.
8)few girls saving themselves for marriage.
9)few girls with proper sandwich making technique.
10)mcdonalds is discuting.
11)multiple high-school garage bands thinking they’re hot sh-t, when not.
12)multiple hobos willing to shave your back for a nickle, or dome.
13)once had a stripper joint named angels, but is now closed due to the wrinkling of the 80 year old stripper.
14)hoopsquad kills!!
15)football team always loses.
16)best resturant is in neighbor town, carbonale. moe’s.
17)very minumum of tampon brand selection.
18)smells like souage.
19)boring.
20)wh-r-s don’t have any experience and are insufficient.
bro 1: d-mn, that b-tch from the other night from murphysboro was trashy as h-ll!! couldn’t even give good dome.
bro 2: d-mn straight, bro. i heard the guys at the club talking, she’s got herps.
bro 1: ….. f-ck.
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