My Uncle Ted
refers to a creepy (often theoretical) person who is usually an uncle by genetics or marriage, else is a close male friend of the family who has a strong pedophilia feeling, and sometimes appears to be h-m-s-xual too. this always applies to adult men who have been accused or convicted of s-xual violence/rape, child molestation, or b-st–lity, likes p-rnography, lives in a cave, is over 40 w/ a receding hairline, excessive back hair, ear hair, and nose hair, and/or gets a b-n-r every time he see’s a person under 12 years of age. these people should generally be avoided.
person 1: “would chuck norris be considered my uncle ted, considering he has banged every female in existence, which implies that he had a b-n-r while around people under 12 years of-”
incoming roundhouse kick: -pow-
person 1: -gasps for breath as he/she dies on ground-
person 2: “that’s what you get for questioning chuck norr-”
incoming roundhouse kick: -pow-
person 2: -gasps for breath as he/she dies on ground-
chuck norris: “that’s what you get for being in the presence of someone who has questioned chuck norris.”
incoming roundhouse kick: -fail-
chuck norris: “nice try mr t., but only i can do that.” -pwnz-
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