oonk
a force of nature that is unpredictable and uncontrollable.
person one: i’m facing an oonk.
person two: run man, run.
1) an ugly guy that male metro-s-xuals hang out with to increase their chances of getting laid.
(unlike hot girls’ relationship with their respective ooks, guys are emotionless, vigilant s-xual pragmatists, who don’t really care if the oonk gets laid or not, therefore, oonk has two connotations.
2) a (optionally) ugly or pathetic guy that fiercely heteros-xual, albeit socially inept and s-xually underexperienced hang out with to make fun of in front of girls, because, in their warped minds, they think that girls like -ssholes, and they will get laid. certain girls do like -ssholes, but they think that guys who pretend to be -ssholes to get laid and are truly decent people are f-cking pathetic, and no matter how empty they themselves are, they are true. that’s pathetic.
jake: f-ck that kid, he’s just our oonk, you know.
sally: wow, you’re so brilliant.
jake: suck me.
sally: no. okay. you look like my daddy -slurp slurp-.
hateful…so hateful…
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