pipe yourself
a suggestion that you go and play with something phallic, in your own time and according to your own wonts. the ‘pipe’ of ‘pipe yourself’ has a wide range of connotations, from a tie to the french ‘pipe’ one might faire, to the lead pipe in cluedo and its implied physical threat.
a: “shall we watch ‘doctors’?”
b: “go pipe yourself”
Read Also:
- Pissing against the wind  a futile waste of time and energy. “i tried to reason with her, but i was p-ssing against the wind” 
- pissnshit  a phrase describing the state where one needs to p-ss and sh-t. because it is commonly -ssumed that when one must sh-t, they must also pee, the phrase ‘p-ss and sh-t’ was shortened to ‘p-ssnsh-t’ ‘i woke up having to p-ssnsh-t after a night of heavy drinking’ 
- piss rifle  the p-ss induced erection men wake up with,usualy after a few beers the night before.second only to diamond in atomic rigidness it is impossible to bend down towards the toliet bowl for a hit and miss,forcing men to go walking the plank. aka: dawn horn,morning root,etc jesus christ,put that thing away you pervy little f-ck!! […] 
- piss sled  a fold-a-bed that is p-ssed/soiled while p-ssed out drunk and folded back up without washing. dude.. i got wasted and p-ssed the fold-a-bed. let’s fold this p-ss sled up! 
- Pisstracting  moaning or coughing when at a urinal to hide the fact that you haven’t started peeing. there was a guy behing me so i started p-sstracting him. 
