polish the wood

when your friend asks about your questionable decisions/s-xual escapades/conquests from the previous day/night.
“hey (insert name here), did (insert other name here) polish the wood last night?”
“greetings. i am not entirely sure what you mean. but let me -ssume you are talking about how i got my brains f-cked out of my skull several times over from 3pm sunday until 3pm monday.”

Read Also:

  • miffed it

    you f-cked up, typically causing damage of property. generally resulting in ridicule from close friends. my sister totaled her car, she miffed it.

  • pulling a bryan.

    when you’re hitting it from the back and you pull out to far and slide right in her -ss hole. i was f-cking hannah last night and ended up pulling a bryan.

  • behowled

    scared beyond the comprehension of your surroundings the man was behowled, lost in the dark forest.

  • d*ckt*tious

    (adjective) an intentionally false or unintentionally distorted interpretation of an event when recounted by an -sshole. often used vindictively or, or selectively target blame after something has gone wrong. as if the argument with kevin after the staff meeting wasn’t fun enough, his d-ckt-tious account of of it up the chain of command scored me […]

  • foodologist

    a person that works with food b-tch you better eat this imma foodologist and you finna eat the food i created….

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