sadventist
a member of the seventh-day adventist church whose religious views are based on the old testament and the writings of ellen g. white (founder of the sda church.) as a result, they are miserable people who make everyone else around them miserable too. these miserable souls are likely to be pro-life and for capital punishment, extreme gossips and backbiters, and depressed loners with few friends, lovers of money, greedy, and quietly ostentatious. they find fault with everything from contemporary fashion, music, and art to movies, sports, dancing, and people. their sabbath-observance is very strict and ceremonial, devoid of joy and real worship, and focused on what one can’t do during the time between friday sundown through sat-rday sundown. children of “sadventist” parents are to be pitied above all because not only are they denied the joys of normal childhood but have to go through their adult life with a broken image of the character of christ, an image which might never be rectified enough in their minds. as a result, these children either become atheists or worse, they become a version of their “sadventist” parents to propagate even more misery into the world.
fred: yo, pete. is carl meeting us at the movies tonight?
pete: nah. his mom grounded him.
fred: how comes?
pete: cuz she’s a sadventist who doesn’t believe in going to the movies.
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