SideburnZ

a man who takes pride in friends he will never meet in real life. he sleeps in his closet on most nights, and doesn’t bathe. also he has a sock that he wears on his left hand that has a face similar to his great-grandpa’s and he spends time talking to this sock on his hand.
sideburnz just spent twelve hours in his closet talking to his sock again while masturbating to his winter boots.
sideburnz, or burnzy as some may call him, is an internet legend. he is renowed for his ability to trick anyone, especially the dumb or s-xually deviant.

whether he destroys the cyber life of an internet predator like bigj (cl-ssic) or he forces a paedophile into hiding amongst a river of his own tears (gameover!), he does so with a style and comical wit that are unmatched. he is a warrior. he is an artist.

under his hard sh-ll lies a gentle soul that few have yet to see. a past of pain has buried the lad in a shroud of privacy. the few that are let in to see the true, real sideburnz fall in love instantly.

and he has a great -ss.
“look at the -ss on him…burnzy must work out!”
the puppeteer of all puppeteers. n-body knows his real name, but everyone fears him, for he could be your friend one minute, but stroke you the next (see: thebigj) he listens to music which few, but some enjoy, enjoys horror movies and the whole horror genre. one would say he is a legend.
sideburnz owned thebigj, he made him look like a loser, oh wait, no, sideburnz was just proving it. haha lol.
someone who derives perverse pleaure from tricking into doing disgusting things, e.g. taking pictures of their shriveled p-n-s, viewing a j-panese woman with a kicked-in face in a tub of yellowish cr-p, etc. also aggressively attacks people with huge personality flaws e.g. pedophilia, anorexia, stupidity, etc. also know as sid, burnz, burnzy, david, beezleburnz
ever since i let it slip that i enjoy eating old folks underwear, everyone has turned into a sideburnz on me.