snowboarding

one of the greatest sports ever invented. combines some of the most amazing aspects of nature with high speed, technical skill and bliss.
snowboarding is as good as s-x
although the most fun anyone can have… ever… snowboarding is also one of the most potentially painful activities known to man. on a more technical note, there are three types of snowboarding:

freeriding: this is your basic stand on a board and go down the hill type boarding. doesn’t take much talent… i’d say after 2-3 years you should have it down pat.

freestyle: this is the most blissful activity on the face of the earth. it can also be divided into a bunch of subcategories…
-park- kickers and cheese wedges, park riding consists of taking air while maintaining a downhillwards (so not a word) motion. while in the air, it is expected that you spin and / or grab.
-pipe- or half-pipe… this is arguably the most commercialised form of freestyle. it envolves going back and forth taking air on two walls of what is literally a m-ssive half of a pipe made out of snow (but usually frozen as h-ll, making for some painful f-ck-ups). once again with the spinning and grabbing.
-jibbing- this is what little kids who don’t know how to ride properly spend all day doing. it’s rails and boxes, mostly, but can be adapted to anything. park benches, cars, roofs of barns (jason brown – transworld’s technical difficulties) which is why it’s so fun i suppose… still, those little f-cks couldn’t do sh-t in the next section.

backcountry: off trail riding, usually using a snowmobile, snowcat, or (if you’re a rich sponsored son of a b-tch) a helicopter to get up to the top of an unsupervised, unmaintained mountain, then riding down, a feat that usually takes about half the morning. the most dangerous type of riding, simply because of the avalance hazard.
rip, craig kelly.
hahah, see the kid with the mohawk and acab written all over his board? let’s go beat him up and p-ss on him!
snowboarding is cool
im almost as cool as snowboarding is. and im really cool.
snowboarding has nothing to due with skiing, other than the fact they both occur on the snow. the story about the drunk skier is fake. it originated from snowboarding and surfing. i hope you -ssholes learn that! it is simply the best sport in the world! also it is a great sport to show off to chicks.
chick-whats your favorite sport?
snowboarder-snowboarding.
chick-really? let’s f-ck!
the action of giving two guys a foot job simultaneously. it’s awesome.
guy 1: “dude did you see jessie give snowboarding lessons to those other two guys!”

guy 2: “yah man. i’d let her wax me up and ride me anyday!”

guy 1’s dad: “ummm…she already ripped up my slopes!”
refers to the action of snorting a line of cocaine off a man’s erect genitalia
“‘dude a girl at the club was totally snowboarding me last night’
‘man, that must’ve been a short line of cocaine.”‘
snow boarding also meaning the snortn of cocaine!
“dang dude where have you been snow boarding, your sh-ts looks all jacked up!”

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