Stage Crew

those underapreciated people in black who work in the shadows during a show, and take care of everything the actors cant; lighting, sound, design, sets. usually very strange people who crawl onto the catwalk and write poetry when feeling especially lonely.
janitor: (while fixing something backstage) uh oh, i dont understand this, i better get a stage crew kid.
the people behind any play you see; creating and moving out the set, working the lights, babysitting the actors…you name it, they do it. they are really the only reason the show actually happens, yet they are terribly unappreciated. they hold together entire sets with duct tape and will run out behind the set in the middle of a scene just to hold up a fallen curtain.

they are usually made up of the most awesome people you will ever meet. never p-ss them off, for they control everything and will not hesitate to f-ck you up on stage.
actor: you guys are taking too long to move out that desk!!
crew member:…f-ck off, or i’ll put brown paint on the chair you have to sit in during scene four.

person 1: hey, are you trying out for the play?
person 2: pff, no, i’m doing stage crew!
the people behind the scenes of any show you watch. usually wear all black to avoid being seen. do all behind-the-scenes work. have more fun than the actors. extremely unappreciated. actors beware: we control the show. you p-ss us off, you sing in the dark
you trying out for the play?
no… stage crew is so much better
possibly one of the most misunderstood subcultures in any high school setting. techies may wear a lot of black, but they’re not always emo. they may seem like geeks, and often are, but they still know what’s up. a crew can become something close to a family. often, a kind of hierarchy develops within a crew where seniority is based on experience and know-how, not age.
jock 1: “dude, i heard you chilled with a bunch of techies last night. you going geek on us?!”

jock 2: “bro! the stage crew parties like a bunch of crazy people! i’ve never seen so many strobe lights!”
those boss people who chill backstage and build stuff for plays. stage crew parties are always much better than the cast parties because stage crew knows how to party with many of the things they have built for plays. stage crew is also in charge of the prop house, which includes cleaning and organizing it, which is a pain in the b-tt, but they still have fun finding many old props such as sparkles, seahorses, roller blades, and many more.

stage crew members often become family and they will have nicknames for each other. also, they are often in charge of babysitting for the cast, which includes waiting to their every need and searching for their props when they loose them.

overall, stage crew is amazing so if you’re thinking about joining the play, join stage crew instead. they have so much more fun than the cast. so join crew.

-warning: membership in the stage crew organization, which is a subsidiary of the drama club, may and most likely will result in fatigue, sleep deprivation, temporary and/or permanent insanity, an inexplicable urge to form close bonds with tools, and a perpetual sense of impending doom.
cast member: stage crew is so stupid. they don’t even do anything.

the whole world: you take that back! stage crew is the best thing ever. without it, the show would not go on! you’re so unthankful! stage crew does everything!!!!
if you’re remotely interested in theater as an art or career, don’t even bother with this sh-t at the high school level. you go in thinking you’re going to be working with people interested in stagecraft and end up working with whiny, lazy, geek-ss b-st-rds who definitely will not contribute anything creative or even productive to the technical theater process and will sit around on a stage you end up f-cking building yourself, talking about how untalented the actors are and how mentally superior stage crew is. g-d d-mn it.
no friends? no semblance of a social life? does the concept of jerking other losers off next to a 24-channel portable etc dimmer seem appealing to you? stage crew is the answer