tubbiemonster
a majestic creature that can turn frowns of snorlaxes upside down in no time at all. if the tubbiemonster becomes upset it will most likely stop talking and furrow its brow. ways to cheer him up include supplying him with a kfc family feast and/or lrg 20 pc nugget meal + choc milkshake, holographic pokemon cards, or just singing him a good old-fashioned lullaby or two. if you anger the tubbiemonster, beware! he has a ferocious temper when provoked, making him difficult to talk to or even pet. the best thing to do is let him cool off for a few days, and slowly approach him promising delectable kissies and warm cuddles. also be wary when the tubbiemonster’s in an especially good mood, as it loses the ability to realise its own strength. if you let him pick you up during one of these sporadic episodes, recede into fetal position and cover your head, for behaving in any other way may result in severe wall-induced head trauma. favourite pastimes of the tubbiemonster include: eating, catching up on re-runs of maury, playing video games, trying to understand the humour of the popular 90s sitcom seinfeld, and providing his mates (the chubbiemonster and/or jkim) with sweet sweet tender loving care. if ur interested in seeing a tubbiemonster for yourself, your best bet is h-tting up a canadian tire, where you can usly find him picking up survival provisions for the looming apocalypse he’s certain will kill us all in 2012.
person 1 : “hey man, i was at mcdonalds today n saw this dude go ballistic!”
person 2 : “no way, what was his problem?”
person 1 : “he was like, ‘yo can i get a supersize 60 pc nugget meal?’ n the cashier lady was all like ‘sorry sir, we dont carry that in north america’ and he starting like rockin back in forth n breathin real hard….i was tripping”
person 2: “sh-t man what did you do?!”
person 1: “well you know, luckily i had some dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets in my pocket. i just handed em to the guy n slowly backed away without making eye contact n ppl said he just smiled n like, walked away”
person 2: “wow dude, so sketch. hey, you don’t think that coulda been a tubbiemonster, do you??”
person 1: “in this part of town?? naahhh…”
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