two goldfish


sarcastic way of saying you don’t care when people are talking about things no one cares about.
i bought some new shoes today.” “i have two goldfish.” “what?” “oh i’m sorry, i thought we were talking about stuff no one cares about.

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    two points is an expression meaning “nice shot”. it originally rose from basketball, but has come to be used in many situations where someone demonstrates skill at hitting a target. also used in a sarcastic sense when someone does something profoundly clumsy. example one guy 1: ouch (after ramming his bike into a hydrant, and […]

  • two tacos short of a combo platter

    insane, off-kilter, off the rocker, etc. “man.. that guy’s two tacos short of a combo platter!”

  • two-weaker

    a person that has been awake for two weeks due to m-ss consumption of methamphetamine. this one time i stayed up for two weeks! so they started calling me a two-weaker!

  • Twyaer

    busted. from the sound a guitar string makes when it snaps. dude 1: “dude, your car is twyaer.” dude 2: “dude, i know. i hit a water buffalo.” -or- will: “dad my bike is all twyaer.” dad: “go do your homework.”

  • typhoid fever

    something lil’ susie always seemed to contract after a full day of hunting and fording on the oregon trail. dammit! susie died of typhoid fever while i was off hunting buffalo – better not hunt them too much – or they will get scarce in this area! dammit!


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