United States Marine Corps

10 november 1775: i was born in a bomb crater. my mother was an m16 and my father was the devil. each moment that i live is an additional threat upon your life. i eat concertina, p-ss napalm, and i can shoot a round through a flea’s -ss at 300 meters. i am a rough looking, roving soldier of the sea. i am c-cky, self-centered, overbearing, and do not know the meaning of fear, for i am fear itself. i am a green amphibious monster, made of blood and guts, who arose from the sea, i travel the globe, festering on anti-americans everywhere i go for, the love of mom, chevrolet, baseball, and apple pie. i’m a grunt. i’m the dirty, nasty, stinky, sweaty, filthy, beautiful little son of a b-tch that’s kept wolf away from the door for over 235 years. i’m a united states marine, we look like soldiers, talk like sailors, and slap the sh-t out of both of them. we stole the eagle from the air force, the rope from the army, and the anchor from the navy. and on the 7th day, when g-d rested, we overran his perimeter, stole the globe, and we’ve been running the show ever since. warrior by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice, marine by g-d.

simper fidelis
the united states marine corps is the best in world, oorah!
the men who do all the real work in the us military. also double as maids and sanitation workers for the many times they have had to clean up after the army’s dumb-ss sh-t and take out the trash around the globe.
we stole the rope from the army, the anchor from the navy, the eagle from the air force and on the 7th day when g-d rested, we overran his perimeter and stole the globe and we’ve pretty much been running the show ever since. oohrah!
what?!?! you accomplished the mission with absolutely no funding and you still kicked more -ss than the army? that is so united states marine corps of you.

i wish the other military branches weren’t such b-tches and they could grow a pair like the united states marine corps.
unlike what most people say it is not “better” than the army or any other branch. each branch has it’s on set of jobs and application in times of war. if the marines were the best (as most military illiterate people think) we wouldn’t need anyone else. also the statement of them being the toughest is almost completely untrue. the statement itself is too ambiguous. most recruits make it through marine bct while other branches have more strenuous training regimen than the overrated “crucible”.
me- “i train everyday in hopes in one day being a seal team member. the dropout from indoctrination through bud/s and sqt is over 95% so i’m not going to slack on any of my preparation.”

common marine fanboy who scored 10 below asvab standard-” weak -ss f-g i’m joing the united states marine corps! oooraahh!!!”

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