urinal humper
a dude who stands so close to the urinal that he is actually straddling it. his toes are often touching the wall that the urinal is mounted on, and depending on his p-ssing style he appears to be either trying on the urinal as a giant “baby huey” style jock strap cup, or humping an enormous porcelain goddess who’s had a building built around her with only her peculiarly shaped v-g-n- exposed…conveniently in the men’s washroom.
urinal humpers suffer from a combination of urinal anxiety and urinal zombie symptoms. they apparently believe they are disguising their urinal anxiety by their willingness to use a urinal, but due to their extreme urinal zombie tendencies, they haven’t noticed that the majority of their fellow p-ssers don’t walk away from the urinal with some other guys p-b-s on his d-ck, or splatters on their pants as if their schl-ng was blowing bubbles in a sewage treatment plant.
hey dude, it’s called a urinal, not a sperminal…it’s for p-ssing in you freak’n urinal humper.
Read Also:
- urinalienation
the act of a (usually) heteros-xual male entering a pubic restroom and p-ssing one or more open urinals in order to create the requisite “sp-ce” between himself and any other pee-ers. man: “dr. i’ve got a bad case of urinalienation.” dr: “dude, me too! i can’t pee unless there’s three open urinals between me and […]
- Urinal Index
a system for determining exactly how “low rent” a bar, restaurant or cafeteria is. to determine a business’ standing on the urinal index, you throw some change into a urinal in the men’s room. every so often you check on it. if no one takes it, you may add some more. the lowest amount of […]
- Urinal-In-Law
after entering a public restroom with your in-law (father-in-law, brother-in-law, etc.), you locate with uncomfortable decidedness a urinal furthest from one another. during my wife’s family reunion at the local italian restaurant, an unspoken urinal-in-law policy was established in the restroom. after entering a public restroom with your in-law (father-in-law, brother-in-law, etc.), you locate with […]
- Urinal Kick
a urinal kick is an epic maneuver in which some guy is taking leak in a urinal in a bathroom and you kick the back of his knee, causing him to fall backwards onto the disguisting p-ss-covered floor, possibly p-ssing into the air onto himself. not cool unless you really hate the person. seriously. i […]
- urinal labels
1. every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals; law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal 2. dont start useless conversation unless you know each other bob; ‘that guy never keeps on the urinal labels, i feel a little unconfortable’ dylan; ‘dude, […]