the biggest womanizer of all the gods
“did you hear. zeus cheated on hera again.”
“huh, it must be tuesday ”
zeus (jupiter/jove), supreme ruler of the universe, originally god of thunder and the thunderbolt.
zeus’ name contains the root for ‘sky’ or ‘day’ in a number of languages (latin dies) and the word ‘g-d’ (latin dues).
in greek mythology, zeus was the god of gods. well-known for controlling thunder & lightning, wearing a white robe and boasting a thick grey beard, kinda like my image of g-d.
“zeus is not g-d, you pagan.”
king of the greek g-ds, not g-d of the g-ds. the other greek g-ds did not worship zeus.
i am zeus, king of the greek g-ds.
the most bad -ss of all gods. represents all that is powerful, lightning, crushing people, victory, and swag. zeus is patron god of seniors and almighty protector of lance armstrong.
zeus kills with an all powerful fury.
the divine name of the leader of the ancient ”’greek”’ pantheon; ”’not”’ preserved by roman catholicism in the “latin-derived b-st-rdizations” of the hebrew name yeshua, and not adopted at all by christianity.
the hispanic pr-nunciation of jesus is “hay-soos”, because that is exactly how it looks to someone who speaks spanish.
jesus in english is pr-nounced phonetically as well, which is why we say “jee-zuss”, and any idiot who thinks the french ”je” is pr-nounced “jee” needs to go back to high school.
in greece they spell zeus, ”dias”
the greatest of all of the greek gods
zeus was the god of the sky, and therefore ruled everything below him. so, he ruled everything. except the sun, the moon, tartaros (h-ll) and the sea.
cronus sired several children by rhea: hestia, demeter, hera, hades, and poseidon, but swallowed them all as soon as they were born, since he had learned from gaia and ur-n-s that he was destined to be overcome by his own son as he had overthrown his own father— an oracle that zeus was to hear and avert. but when zeus was about to be born, rhea sought gaia to devise a plan to save him, so that cronus would get his retribution for his acts against ur-n-s and his own children. rhea gave birth to zeus in crete, handing cronus a rock wrapped in swaddling clothes, which he promptly swallowed.
rhea hid zeus in a cave on mount ida in crete. according to varying versions of the story:
he was then raised by gaia.
he was raised by a goat named amalthea, while a company of kouretes— soldiers, or smaller gods— danced, shouted and clashed their spears against their shields so that cronus would not hear the baby’s cry. he was raised by a nymph named adamanthea. since cronus ruled over the earth, the heavens and the sea, she hid him by dangling him on a rope from a tree so he was suspended between earth, sea and sky and thus, invisible to his father.
he was raised by a nymph named cynosura. in grat-tude, zeus placed her among the stars.
he was raised by melissa, who nursed him with goat’s-milk and honey.
he was raised by a shepherd family under the promise that their sheep would be saved from wolves.
laurel-wreathed head of zeus on a gold stater, lampsacus, c 360-340 bc (cabinet des médailles)
zeus becomes king of the gods
after reaching manhood, zeus forced cronus to disgorge first the stone (which was set down at pytho under the glens of parn-ssus to be a sign to mortal men, the omphalos) then his siblings in reverse order of swallowing. in some versions, metis gave cronus an emetic to force him to disgorge the babies, or zeus cut cronus’ stomach open. then zeus released the brothers of cronus, the gigantes, the hecatonchires and the cyclopes, from their dungeon in tartarus, killing their guard, campe. as a token of their appreciation, the cyclopes gave him thunder and the thunderbolt, or lightning, which had previously been hidden by gaia. together, zeus and his brothers and sisters, along with the gigantes, hecatonchires and cyclopes overthrew cronus and the other t-tans, in the combat called the t-tanomachy. the defeated t-tans were then cast into a shadowy underworld region known as tartarus. atlas, one of the t-tans that fought against zeus, was punished by having to hold up the sky.
after the battle with the t-tans, zeus shared the world with his elder brothers, poseidon and hades, by drawing lots: zeus got the sky and air, poseidon the waters, and hades the world of the dead (the underworld). the ancient earth, gaia, could not be claimed; she was left to all three, each according to their capabilities, which explains why poseidon was the “earth-shaker” (the god of earthquakes) and hades claimed the humans that died.
gaia resented the way zeus had treated the t-tans, because they were her children. soon after taking the throne as king of the gods, zeus had to fight some of gaia’s other children, the monsters typhon and echidna. he vanquished typhon and trapped him under a mountain, but left echidna and her children alive.
zeus was brother and consort of hera. by hera, zeus sired ares, hebe and hephaestus, though some accounts say that hera produced these offspring alone. some also include eileithyia and eris as their daughters. the conquests of zeus among nymphs and the mythic mortal progenitors of h-llenic dynasties are famous. olympian mythography even credits him with unions with leto, demeter, dione and maia. among mortals were semele, io, europa and leda.
many myths render hera as jealous of his amorous conquests and a consistent enemy of zeus’ mistresses and their children by him. for a time, a nymph named echo had the job of distracting hera from his affairs by incessantly talking: when hera discovered the deception, she cursed echo to repeat the words of others.
hera is also represented as having despised ganymede, a trojan boy whom he brought into olympus to be cup-bearer to the gods as well as his lover.
i think “zeus” is “zεúç”! zeus is a greek god, and a great god! -cheers- hurray for zeus!!!
- Aquarius and Gemini
aquarius and gemini, libra and aries. (if that even becomes a thing) aries is obsessed with libra, but libra wants to keep it chill when aries is in love. aquarius & gemini try to hide their love from others. but one day rumors spread and people knew. so sometimes you can’t hide true love from […]
a gorgeous young l-ss who thrives on everything that life throws at her. she is beautiful, smart and a pleasure to look at…for days. she has beautiful hair, somewhat asymmetrical to emphasize her inner longing to be different from all else. has an -ss of a goddess and eyes of an angel, if that angel […]
- Auditorial Realism
when fake sounds made by a human sound real. definitely a real word/phrase. “d-mn, that was some serious auditorial realism!”
true beauty, means happinness in kazakh language i wish you bakyt
- Bavarian Fly Swatter
after a night out you return home with your significant other. upon arrival you begin making s-xual advances towards your partner. all said advances are denied until your partner says they are calling it a night and goes to bed. to perform this move you must patiently wait for your unsuspecting partner to fall asleep. […]