Fanson

a hanson fan. the many kinds of fansons are: —1. hardcore fansons: they own all 5 alb-ms, eps, live cds/dvds, and strong enough to break, which doc-ments how they left island to form 3cg records, and will explain all this at great length when one mistakingly says “mmmbop.” they’ll add fansons on fb and are willing to go on long roadtrips to see a show, decorating their rides to signal those making the same journey, encourageing them to honk in solidarity. —2. laysons: they occasionally hit the band’s site when they release an alb-m, and may go to a concert once or twice, but not motivated to drive for 5 hours to see them. —3. hipster noobs: being turned onto hanson’s recent music, they’re oblivious to the band’s past and believe upon discovering them, that they’re a slick new band on the scene. they’ll say things like, “you should really check out this indie band from tulsa. they sound like eric hutchanson.” —4. male fansons: almost non-existent in the begining, are increasingly prominent among fans, and growing in correlation with hanson’s music that appeals more to both s-xes. this is mostly due to the creation of hanson’s own label, which no longer obligates them to stoke the desires of teens. —5. tap-out fansons: once all over the mmmbop scene, they fell off the wagon, and remain unaware that their once fav band still thrives as an indie w/o their support.
don’t try to school me, noob. i’m a hardcore fanson from back in the day, before you hipters thought they were worth a d-mn!
a hardcore hanson fan.
true fansons stick around, despite the lack of new music. they must really love the band.
a hardcore hanson fan for life.

somebody who celebrates isaac, taylor and zac’s birthdays, the births of their children, their wedding anniversaries and throws a huge party every hanson day (but there are usually no other guests). possibly has a hanson tattoo, and may have sported a rat tail during the late 90s. has bought the hanson babygros even if they don’t have children yet, but wanted it ‘for the future’. grumbled about having to move their hanson ring to another finger to make room for their wedding ring. cried for three weeks when taylor got married and almost went into cardiac arrest when he ‘cheated’ on hanson with his new band tinted windows (but still bought their record and went to every show on their tour). bought themselves a ‘valentine gift’, ie. the hanson chocolates, because n-body else would buy it for them. has given children/pets/sims names with hanson-references. has genuinely spent time pondering the question “where did johnny go?” and wrote a fan-fic (potentially zaylor-themed) featuring a conspiracy theory with amy as the kidnapper. would have bid on isaac’s rib if it had ever been put on ebay. has done a google maps search for albertane.
“humbop pa dooomba dop..”
“you’re singing it wrong!!!”

“i’m not just a hanson fan, i’m a fanson.”
fans of the pop/rock group hanson.
my friends are such fansons! they love hanson!
someone who remains a huge fan of hanson even though their 15 minutes were up roughly 8 years ago. the fansons most likely stuck around because they thought that the girl in the band was pretty cute.
duane is still a huge fanson member because he’s practically in love with that girl drummer.

“what? that was a boy? well sh-t…don’t tell duane, he’s officially gay.”