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here are some jokes from larry the cable guy

“i was sniffing around at victoria’s secret the other day. i was like a r-t-rd at a chucky cheese. guess what they have. underbritches with holes in the crotches. these things sell for 15 bucks. i’m sitting on a dwarful of those worth 250 bucks at home”

“they now have something called eatin’ britches. i bought five pairs for my girlfriend and ate a couple on the way to her house. if they made biscuits and gravy flavored, i’d get fat just off that”

“i beleive if i was paid a dollar for every time my dad said he loved me…well, money isn’t important now”

“they say cellphones put microwaves in your body. this guy used one and p–ped out a hot pocket”

“if you don’t think that’s funny, get the h-ll out of here”

“i have a deaf brother. he also has teret syndrome, so he’s all like -makes nasty hand gestures-”

“my girlfriend read a hog hunter magazine and said ‘why don’t you trim you’re private areas, that’ll look s-xy.’ oh no, i said. an hour later i have razor b-mps and toilet paper squares all over my b-lls”

“my grandma was in a farting contest…”

“gitrdone”
larry the cable guy bought a fart machine at the mall, used it everywhere, and gave it to his grandma for his birthday
jeff foxworthy’s redneck jokes come to life
who’s ready to git-r-done?
a redneck who should be put in a boat and sent to angola. he has a comedy routine exploring redneck stuff, such as flatulance and fat women in thong, as he puts it, “britches.” he also says git r done.
larry the cable guy was booed out of madison square garden
worst comedian ever. he follows jeff foxworthy and steals his spotlight. he spits the line “git-r-dun” way too much. it isn’t funny, and now everyone else is saying it.
mah girlfriend is ugly. that’s funny i don’t care who you are. git-r-dun!!!
a pretty funny comedian (if you like his kind of humor) from a small town in nebraska whose real name is daniel whitney and is famous for his redneckish comedic act on the blue collar comedy tour. he is acting and talking as a redneck, but in fact sounds very upper midwestern, which is evident when watching his interviews.
jokes from larry the cable guy:

“we were throwin m-80s in the water (explosion sound with mouth) watchin the fish fly up. yeah, we blew the aquarium at the dentist’s office all to h-ll.”

“i called one of them 900 talk-dirty numbers the other day; you ever call one of them? two people, that’s it? and those voices sounded familiar to be honest with you. well don’t call it, it’s a rip-off. i got a girl that stuttered and it cost me $1,700 on that deal in there.”

“my brother celebrated his 2nd wedding anniversary, and they was goin to celebrate. he wanted to have s-x, and she wanted to go to outback, and my grandmother wanted to go to church, have em rededicate the wedding vows. so, they all compromised and they had s-x outback of the church.”
larry the cable guy is a famous comedian, known best for his partic-p-tion in the blue collar comedy tour. his act consists of acting like a redneck, and makes millions with it because he’s so good at it. his catchphrases are the ever popular “git-r-done”, and “that’s funny right there”.
watched a bit of larry the cableguy last night, laughed my -ss off.
a funny comedian on the blue collar comedy tour and blue collar tv. anyone who thinks the things he says arent funny should be shot.
thats funny i don’t care who you are. git-r-done!

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