a small, mild mannered lizard that becomes angry and aggressive when in the presence of failure. typically attracted to live music in the southeast region of the u.s., failzard can appear anywhere, anytime, and for any number of reasons. if you suck, you can be sure he’s watching, and rest -ssured he’ll let you know it.


failzard was first encountered in tampa, florida, at a storage facility frequented by musicians. apparently irritated by the sound of some sub-par music, this extremely intelligent reptile made it’s way up to the 2nd floor of a completely secure building, and into a storage unit where a local rock band was playing. it then tried to intimidate several band members in an attempt to get them to stop playing.

when they realized what was happening, the 5 piece band changed songs and saw something amazing – the lizard suddenly relaxed, exposed his large red neck, and started bobbing his head in time with the beat! they then reverted back to the first song and the lizard started charging them again. clearly this normally docile reptile had an ear for music, and an att-tude to go with it!

since that time, failzard has appeared at many fails, and has been sighted all across the tampa bay area.

if you’d like to become a fan you can find failzard on mysp-ce and facebook.
when failzard appeared, little carolyn stopped in the middle of her act, realizing she had lost the talent show.

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