comprising of estero, cypress lake, north & south fort myers, and dunbar. not every person that lives here says “goon, goblin, fo town, or bust it baby” or wears “239” hats, wear 2 ft. long chains with a large medallion or other charm, those people hail dunbar and are predominately of african-american heritage. (though there are some people that are caucasian and latin dissent that speak with that dialect). everybody here knows someone from one school or another, and you can always find us at ft. myers beach, times square, the pier, coconut point mall, and gulf coast mall. we always throw raging parties in the evening and are back through the window before the parents leave for work. there are many cliques for every school, but saying we you belong to one clique is just asinine. everybody knows everybody and word spreads fast, so if theres a party you can believe the other schools will know about it and come bearing gifts. (beer or other substances of the same)
also, you better believe that if you bad-mouth a friend from another school, you wont be around for long. (not saying were all hard or anything but trust and loyalty takes you far here.) sure plies has come from ft. myers, but hes not the only famous person from our town. deion sanders, earnest graham, jevon ke-rs-, vonzell solomon, mike greenwell, anthony henry, and many more. thomas edison and henry ford both lived here and we have also had multiple movies shot in our town. fort myers is not a place of misery, but a place full of life.
you think your towns cool? come down here from late february to early august and we will show you what “cools” about. fort myers love.
a slummy, boring city in southwest florida full of decomposing geriatrics and foreclosed homes. the social climate can be summed up as “spiteful grapevine.” everyone has a grudge against everyone else in fort myers. for this reason and many others, it is called fort misery by its locals.
fort myers, and lee county at large, is so unbelievably boring that one of their main attractions is a patch of land overlooking brackish water with a fountain that looks like watersports p-rn from a certain angle. also known as centennial park.
don’t take my word for it; look up lee county sucks in google.
girl: “where do you live?”
guy: “fort myers.”
guy: “is something wrong?”
girl: “i’m sorry.” -click-
a city in southern florida. population: 62,298 officially but really more like 200,000 since most people live outside city limits. it is composed almost entirely of suburbs and strip malls, with a few ghettos thrown in for good measure. the population consists mostly of close-minded fake suburban people and their wigger children. the only other common type of person in fort myers is 80+ and drives only lincoln town cars (or jaguars, if they have a bit of money). as noted by some of the other entries, nothing ever really happens in fort myers. the center of the city is about 10 miles east of the gulf of mexico and the local government markets it to tourists as “paradise” even though it has more litter than most cities of its size. avoid at all costs
rhonda: “where should i move so that my family and i can feel like everyone in the world is a white conservative christian?”
lily: “fort myers, florida.”
the most happenin place ever! no, for real though. ft. myers is awesome. there’s a great diversity in people, of age, race and religion.
we get lucky when hurricanes come by, because regardless of what the news says, it’s not that bad. if you’re not from florida, born and raised, then you’ll usually freak out. we “floridians” don’t have issues with them. hurricane party!!!
also, there’s florida gulf coast university, where most will go to after high school. we have three malls. plenty of beach sp-ce when the snow birds are not here. the sun is always shining, and if not, just wait ten minutes, it will be back. fort myers is located on the gulf coast, water is warm. there’s not much surf, but hey, there’s a lot of great things. tons of wonderful restaurants, like buffulo chips, bahama breeze, and of course your famous ones like outback and olive garden.
everyone that travels down there, three hours south of tampa, loves it. tons of compliments from people who have p-ssed through. us 41 is always packing during season. if you don’t know what season is, sorry. it’s the most imporant time of year for working residents. that’s where the term “snow bird” comes in hand. people are generally nice. unless you meet them on the road… police don’t care that much for speeders.
overall, you’ll greatly enjoy fort myers. it has great schools like estero high and fort myers high. even if estero’s football team made history recently on their score. other than that… if you don’t want to live here, don’t stop by, you’ll get addicted.
person 1 : yo, where you been at?
person 2 : dude, fort myers! it’s awesome. i’m never going back home!!!!
fort myers aka fort mizery is a city in florida made up entirely of surfer f-gs and beach queers. i hate fort myers
me: f-ck fort myers
girl: look at that cool beach dude
me: f-ck that f-g
girl: f-ck you
me: you wish
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