millifecal


the international standard unit (si) for measuring bullsh-t. abbreviated as mf.

usually measured via bullsh-t meter.

the standard millifecal scale:

000-150 mf = fib
151-270 mf = white lie
271-400 mf = smells funky…
401-531 mf = cr-p
532-780 mf = bullsh-t!
781-999 mf = no f—ing way.
1000-9000 mf: you are advised to seek help if you regularly find your daily bullsh-t exposure levels within this range.
over 9000 mf: fatal.
man 1: tell me again what the millifecal is based on?
man 2: it’s basically how much you can p–p in one day.
-loud electrical whine-
man 1: whoa, you’re registering 553mf on my bullsh-t meter!
man 2: good. i wondered if that thing still worked.

dude 1: quiet! i can’t hear the state of the union address!
president on tv: “… and our economy is looking better every day!”
dude 2: ha. what would you rate that?
dude 1: about 650 millifecals.

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