the hills

a show mtv created because of the popularity of laguna beach. star lauren or l.c. and her ditzy friend heidi decide to live on their “own” in the hills (l.a.), but even though neither has a full time paying job they somehow miraculously have money to pay for everything. watch out for a cameo of jason from laguna beach. “reality” t.v only o.c. obsessed teens could believe.
lets go watch the hills where heidi will convince 18 year olds everywhere they can get a party job with no education.
a horrible reality show about a bunch of skinny rich white college kids dealing with their picture perfect life. they’ve got everything going for them but still find time to whine. abercrombie-kid,laguna beach,she-twig
platinum blonde: man im so p-ssed how perfect my life is so i think im gonna make up some lame drama.

dirty blonde: yeah me too. gosh life in the hills sucks
quite possibly the dumbest f-cking show on the face of the earth. i would rather guzzle cat p-ss while getting raped up the -ss by wesley snipes while having bamboo splintered under my fingernails while having my b-lls chewed on by jaws (the villain from james bond) while getting a bl-wj-b from jaws (the shark from the movie) while watching the episode of dragon ball z where you think vacheta is going to fight goku but they say it’ll be in the next episode while listening to a 7 year old on counterstrike: source brag about how he’s “teh leet b-lls” than watch the hills.
f-ck the hills
wealthy, uppercl-ss, suburban area marked by large properties, larger houses, and sometimes even larger populations of jews. the local police force will usually have nothing better to do than break up high school parties, and the local high schoolers will usually have nothing better to do than spend their parents’ money on copius amounts of marijuana and smirinof twist. keep your eyes open for a high ratio of starbucks to 7-11s, and an almost unsettling shortage of blacks. mexicans are right out.
“there were a lot of parties in the hills that night, so i grabbed my pink northface and my prada purse and waited in my foyer for rebecca to pick my up in her land rover.”
the most boring show in the universe. it consist of a bunch of rich -ssholes who do not have jobs but spend glorious amounts of money on starbucks, martinis, and abortions. conversations consist of talking about whos hooking up or what club they plan on hitting up that night. the cycle repeats until the season ends. you will learn more from watching a snail cross a highway than watching this show. if you see an average looking person on the show than you probably accidently saw a commercial.
blond girl: what happened last night?
other blonde girl: spencer was totally hitting on stacy.
blonde girl: i don’t know what to do. how can i trust him?
other blonde girl: i think hes going to mcf-gs tonight.
blonde girl: we should totally go and make him jealous.
other blonde girl: totally.
etc etc etc

viewer: holy f-ck the hills is the lamest show ever.
‘the hills’ sadly is what’s rotting the brains of the mtv generation. it’s supposed to be the real-life version of ‘the o.c.’, but from what i’ve seen of it it’s even less believable. what’s worse is that the cast are actually celebrities. but they’re everyting you don’t want in a celebrity – they’re dumb, phony attention-seekers!
the hillsmtvheidilaurenaudrinawhitneykristinheidi montaglauren conradaudrina partridgewhitney portkristen kavallari
1: a very, very sh-tty tv show on mtv that depicts the struggles of college-aged white women who move to beverly hills in search of a better life by making a perfect life look overly-difficult and dramatic

2: a raised area of ground
1:
chick 1: i’m blond and i can’t even figure out how to get a toaster to work! wanna go watch the hills?!
chick 2: -screaming- aaaahhhh!!! yes!!! i love that show!!
chick 1: -also screaming- i know right?!? hey bobby, come watch the hills with us!!
bobby: i will watch that f-cking horrible excuse for a television program as soon as you and your friend lick each other’s c-nts.
chick 1: y’okay.
bobby: wha-?

2:
hey, this raised area of ground looks like a hill, not to be confused with that tv show characterized by a cl-sterf-ck of bulimic wh-r-s whining about their perfect lives not being easy, the hills.

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